Trust

I am currently doing a bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman.  This whole week has been about our husbands' trusting us, being prepared, and trusting the Lord to provide.  I don't know if it is funny or sick but it never fails that when you are studying something, you end up walking it out.  I think we have to walk it out in order for the character building to become reality.


Money is what has plagued me lately.  The normal stuff is covered, the bills are paid.  It is the extra's and there always seems to be extras!  The missions trip that the middle one wants to go on, the college that the older one is attending, the drum lessons, swim team, homeschool supplies needed, registration on vehicles coming due, camps, driving lessons, school clothes, haircuts, the "mom, I need" statements......  See if I let my mind wander, it can start to stack up and I begin to hyperventilate and...It is what my mind is worried about, constantly thinking about what I can do.  Did you catch that? What I can do??


Yesterday I received a text from hubby that his car wouldn't start and I needed to come get him.  I took the boy to his baseball game and told him I would be right back with Dad to watch his game. I got to my husband, turned my car off, and now both cars are broken.  Get it working, go to Costco to get gas and again it stops working. In the Costco gas line.  Yes, we were not well loved there and yes, you can laugh. The tow truck guy did, my husband and I tried to.  We had to call a friend to go get my boy.  While I am sitting there praying for God to start my car, TRUST comes to mind.  When I wanted to cry I begged God to stop the tears from flowing.  I knew that would not help my husband at all.  I changed my prayers for a good attitude instead.  Thanking God that we had someone to call and that they could retrieve my son safely. That my husband and I were both together, we knew where all of our kids were.  That we could walk home if necessary, as we were only up the road from home.  That we could call a tow truck, free of charge and get help. Immediately the day's scriptures came to mind:

Psalm 37:3

³ Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 

Proverbs 3:5

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;

Phil. 4:19

¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

My husband said something that put things in perspective for me, "All of our problems can be solved with money".  You see, we are all healthy, we have food on our table and clothes on our backs.  My children can run and play. The other stuff is material.  It is life, things wear out.


Today I choose to trust in the Lord instead of stuff!

Well Hi!  It's been 5 long months since I've posted last.  What have I been up to, you ask?  In no particular order, just things that have occupied my time

• Got really sick with some virus that sent me to the doctors dehydrated and needing IV fluids.
• Went camping to a place called Jellystone.  Yes, Yogi and BooBoo were there. :)
• Threw a big year end party for the homeschool group that I lead, full of games and food and fun.
• Finished up our homeschooling year.
• Played on a softball team.
• Got our wood floors, in the public areas, redone.
• Painted rooms and put baseboards up.
• Demolished the kitchen and started remodeling.
• Went to Oregon and helped a friend with her son's graduation party.
• Planting and tending the garden.

Now that we are on summer break, I hope to post a little more regular.  I will post pictures with more details of some of the above things soon.  I have to track them all down.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July and we are planning on going to enjoy the fireworks in the little town down the road.  Looking forward to spending the time with the family all together.  It doesn't happen much lately.

Back to Simple

One of my new years resolutions was to live simple in regards to our budget.  So I gathered the supplies and scoured the net.  Where recipes abound.  Armed with just a few supplies I proceeded to make hand soap, laundry soap, and dishwashing soap.  My goal is to not have to spend money on expensive brands through out the year.  It only takes a few minutes to make each one.  The longest thing was grating the soap.  After my first batch of using a regular cheese grater, I pulled out  my food processor which cut down even more time.  The next time I make laundry soap I am going to attempt the liquid kind.  I will let you know how it goes.

What to do now?

This weekend was so wonderful and then it wasn't.  Ever have one of those?


It started on Thursday with a wonderful worship night at our church, which then took me into Friday, where I attended a women's conference that lasted into Saturday.  I then came home to go to church, followed by more wonderful worship.


I was so looking forward to spending time as a family after church. One daughter had been very tired and wanted to stay home from church to rest. Another daughter had made plans already with her friend.  So, my husband and I made plans to go out and have dinner.  My heart was mis construed and I was suddenly looked at as hateful and selfish.  2 things that I don't usually equate to myself.  However, if those you love so much, see you as this.....It devastates.  Eventually I lost my cool and told them that "yes, I am a horrible person" I used a few choice words in saying this about myself, but I lost my temper.  I felt attacked.


So where does this leave me?  I have apologized. I am not perfect and I fall daily.  Sometimes bigger then others.  I will trust that God's grace is sufficient. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

You see all I wanted to do was have a strong family, to be my daughters best friends and confidants.  To be their biggest cheerleader.  To be present for everything I possibly could, to encourage, to hug, to love.  I WANTED my children, still do :).  I thought that through the years I had worked hard to do this.  In one swoop, I feel like I failed.  My foundation was shaken.


Today, I feel like I am a failure as a mom.  That is no easy pill to swallow and when it was your dream and your identity, what do you do now? My mother didn't have these same dreams, she didn't want to be a mom, and she ran. That is what I was taught. To run. But I won't. 


I was taught that families are not real, that we live for ourselves. But then I have had the beautiful opportunity to see what real families are. To see mom's and dad's who sacrifice themselves for the bigger picture of their families.  The most important example of God sacrificing his own son for me, so that I could be considered his own. I will pray and stand and take what this life brings, the joy along with the devastation.  I will place my hope in Him. I will continue to love even when I am not loved back. I will pray, A LOT!!


See, Satan wants our families.  It is his goal to destroy us.  So why wouldn't he attack me after I had just spent so much wonderful time with God?  After I had such wonderful revelation about my family? So when I ask myself or you what to do now?  I will put my hope in Him!


Psalm 31:24 ²⁴ Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 39:7 ⁷ “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

^{Psalm 43:5 5} Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Linking up to :

Thanksgiving, Birthday's, Christmas, New Year's, Oh My...

Thanksgiving came and we ate lots of food.

We put together a puzzle.

And we pretty much ate some more, played games, watched movies, and hung out.

Then we went and got our tree.

That's our tree, hiding behind the family, blending so well with all of the other trees ;)

This one then turned 20.

Then we celebrated the birth of our Savior.

Yes, that is a terrible picture, I didn't get a camera for Christmas.

Then this one turned 12.

And before you know it, we have marched into 2012.